I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
