I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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