It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
