Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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