You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
