Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
They took my balls.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
