i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
