He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
false alarm, still single
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
