no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
