Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize