What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
