So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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