I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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