She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
