I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
