Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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