I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize