so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
