He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
