guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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