my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
