they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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