yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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