So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
