i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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