Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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