And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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