the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dick very happy bro
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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