she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
