I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
