I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
