Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
