The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
