she looked like the before picture.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
