Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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