I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
