i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
