If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
