He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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