I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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