so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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