Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
