Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
