Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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