If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
