I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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