How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
