WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
