talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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