sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
