I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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