is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
