i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
